People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
