at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
