So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
