The beer is more important than you right now.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
