Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
