like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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