She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
