If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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