He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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