I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
