He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize