he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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