So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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