OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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