So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
