He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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