Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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