A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
where are my eyebrows?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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