It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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