somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
