My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
