whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
