After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
there is glitter all over my balls
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
