Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
