I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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