She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
