No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
