Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
