did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
