you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
