Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
