Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
