All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
