I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
