Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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