Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this will be a night to untag.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
