so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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