I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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