At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
high people should be assigned attendants
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
