Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize