Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
