watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
