the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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