your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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