No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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