I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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