so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
