Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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