Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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