Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
