I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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