They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
how drunk are you?
Several
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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