The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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