Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
