is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
