So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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