I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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