I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
