im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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