So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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