Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
