In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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